<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>the hallways they echoed and groaned by Ford_Ye_Fiji</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26368312">the hallways they echoed and groaned</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji'>Ford_Ye_Fiji</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Number Five | The Boy Deserves Better, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, The others are here but not for very long</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:01:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26368312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five messes up, has a bit of a breakdown, and gets a hug.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>382</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the hallways they echoed and groaned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What the fuck? Let go of me!" Five lashed out, swinging, his fist hitting flesh, panic filling his veins. These assassins were stronger than he’d expected. He could dimly hear his siblings shouting, calling out for him, fear in their voices.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">And still the hands held on. Five screamed, biting at the closet arm, finally getting a grip on the wrist as he bit down with the only weapon he had. He snarled, tearing his head back, momentarily satisfied by the resulting howl of pain. He could do this. </span> <span class="s2"><em>He could do this.</em></span> <span class="s1"> This was just a momentary setback.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">These people </span> <span class="s2"><em>would</em></span> <span class="s1"> regret coming after him and his family.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Five yanked an arm free, aiming for the closest person and kicking them backwards. They hit the wall with a satisfying thunk and an '</span> <span class="s2"><em>oof</em></span> <span class="s1">' of pain. Five kicked again, snarling, and he heard a distant shout, "Vanya! No!"</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Whatever was happening to his family was </span> <span class="s2"><em>bad</em></span><span class="s1">. He was running out of time.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five launched himself at the largest threat, managing to blink away from the hands grabbing and pulling at him, "Don't fucking touch my family-!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He grabbed the man's neck, growling out curses and threats, fear filling him as his family’s panicked yelling only sharpened, blurring his world down into one narrow focus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eliminate the threat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Save his siblings.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He managed to get a firm grip of the chin, tensing, finally in a good positions to end this. He pulled, getting ready to snap the neck and then- "</span> <em> <span class="s2">I heard a rumor that you stopped dreaming!</span> </em> <span class="s1">"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five sucked in a breath, the world shuttering back into light.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">His siblings </span> <span class="s2"> <em>were</em> </span> <span class="s1"> screaming.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s2">At him</span> <span class="s1">.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Vanya was slumped on the floor against the door frame, gasping for air. Diego was holding his bloodied wrist, Klaus and Ben next to him, all staring with horror and shock. Allison was utterly </span> <span class="s2"><em>terrified</em></span><span class="s1">, hand outstretched, waiting to see if her rumor had worked.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had Luther's chin and head braced in his arms, his brother frozen, waiting to see if he had calmed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five felt sick to his stomach, reality opening up to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"> <em>He'd almost snapped his brother's neck.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five let go, stumbling off of him and back against the wall, eyeing his siblings carefully. He wiped his mouth, hand coming back wet and sticky. He glanced down at it, terror making his hands tremble as he saw them slick with blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"><em>Diego's</em></span> <span class="s1"> blood.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">They all stared, Luther turning. Their eyes, filling with questions and concern and </span> <span class="s2"><em>fear</em></span><span class="s1">, pinned him in place against the wall.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five choked.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s2"> <em>Shit</em> </span> <span class="s1">.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulled at the space around him and vanished with a small pop.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five sat and hugged his knees, staring up at the starlit sky, skin itching, a weight pulling at his chest, impossibly heavy and tight. The wind was cold and made him shiver in his thin sleepwear, but he didn't care.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The roof was still wet and damp form the rain yesterday, but the night sky was clear, the air brisk. It would’ve almost been beautiful if he couldn’t still feel Diego's blood drying on his face, sticky and flaking. His mouth still tasted of sweat and salt and metal.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wiped at his eyes, grimacing as his hand came back wet with tears. He sniffed and scrubbed at them viciously, almost clawing at his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could still remember their faces.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He could still feel the thunk of flesh and meat as he kicked Vanya in the stomach and against the wall. He could feel Diego's rapid heartbeat pulsing under teeth and tongue, Luther’s neck beneath his fingertips. He'd almost taken his life- he’d almost </span> <span class="s2"><em>killed</em></span> <span class="s1"> them- after </span> <span class="s2"><em>everything</em></span><span class="s1">-</span></p><p class="p2">A hand on his shoulder startled him backwards into the present, then a soft voice, "Five?"</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked up with red-rimmed eyes, blood on his face, panic thrumming in his bones.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya stared down at him, brow softened, a bruise blooming on her cheek. Five swallowed and looked down and away. He took a moment, a breath, and then composed himself, snapping out more harshly than he intended, "What do you want?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya sat down next to him, legs dangling over the side of the roof. She didn’t say anything as Five's eyes bored holes into the courtyard far below them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She shifted slightly and he glanced over at her, watching her gaze up at the stars, the starlight framing them both in stark contrast to the shadow below.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya asked quietly, finally looking down at him, "It’s kinda cold out here, huh?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five shrugged halfheartedly, “Hadn't noticed."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya's brow softened at whatever she saw and Five's hackles went up. She said slowly, softly, "No one blames you, Five. It’s happened to every one of us."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five snorted, "Cut the bullshit."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "Excuse me?"</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Five clenched his fists, breathing in through his nose, trying to remain calm, but the effort failing, as he felt fury rise in him, "I thought that when the apocalypse was over, at least </span> <span class="s2">some</span> <span class="s1"> of our troubles would stop. I thought you all would </span> <span class="s2">finally</span> <span class="s1"> be safe. Free to live out your lives, free to be happy, free to be </span> <span class="s2"><em>alive</em></span><span class="s1">." Five scoffed, furious, "But that's wishful thinking, Vanya. And I, out of all people, should’ve known better."</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He turned, feeling overwhelming anger swell up inside, pouring out of him, completely unable to stop. He didn’t even know what he was angry at. Possibly the Commission? Definitely himself. </span> <span class="s2">Not</span> <span class="s1"> his family. They weren’t at fault here. They were merely a convienant outlet that let him escape facing the real culprit. Maybe, though, he was ready to face it finally- to face himself and all the damage that his hubris had wrought, "The Commission made me a killer, Vanya. Do you know what that means?"</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya only stared, unreadable.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Five carried on, unaware, words trembling from the weight of his wrath, "I caused the great fire of London. I ensured the destruction of the Hindenburg. Hell, I almost shot Diego's one great love John F. Kennedy." Vanya snorted at that as Five continued, "I slaughtered the entire commission board with nothing but an axe. I murdered all those men at Griddy's with nothing but my own two hands, a butterknife and the tie I was wearing. I’m a killer, Vanya. A </span> <span class="s2"><em>murderer</em>. </span><span class="s1">I’ve killed men and women and </span> <span class="s2"><em>children</em></span><span class="s1">." She didn’t seem to understand, to see what he was, and it was suddenly important to him for her to </span> <span class="s2"><em>see</em></span><span class="s1">, "People like Sissy, Vanya, people like </span> <span class="s2"><em>Harlan</em></span><span class="s1">."</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Vanya remained quiet, brows drawing down at the mentions of their names. Five wanted to rage, to scream, to shout. No, he wanted </span> <span class="s2"><em>her</em></span> <span class="s1"> to do that, he wanted her to scream at him. To realize what he’d done. But why? Five pulled at his hair, disgusted. He wanted to face the retribution he so rightly deserved, "I’m a </span> <span class="s2"><em>monster</em></span><span class="s1">, Vanya. I did it for all for you- to </span> <span class="s2"><em>save</em></span> <span class="s1"> all of you. I </span> <span class="s2">thought</span> <span class="s1"> it was worth it. The killing, the destruction, all the awful things I did. And it was, </span> <span class="s2">it <em>wa</em></span><span class="s1"><em>s</em>, Vanya. All of it was worth it. All the children killed in their cradles, all the brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. The good men and the damned, I’d do it all again. No matter how I feel about it now, I’d still do it all again if it meant saving you all." </span></p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">Five dug his nails into his forehead, "But I didn’t- I didn’t fucking </span> <span class="s2"><em>think</em></span> <span class="s1"> about the afterwards. I am bred for war, Vanya, not peace. I am a soldier, a killer, a- a </span> <span class="s2"><em>butcher.</em></span><span class="s2"><em>I</em></span> <span class="s1"> am the danger to you now. The Commission is gone, the Apocalypse will never happen, the threat to your safety is over </span> <span class="s2">except</span> <span class="s1">- <em>except for </em></span><em> <span class="s2">me</span></em> <span class="s1">-" </span></p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">He laughed, feeling the last threads of his sanity unwind, as reality suddenly became clearer, "<em>I</em> am both of those. </span> <span class="s2">I</span> <span class="s1"> am the last of the commission, their final and greatest weapon. I am the last reminder of the apocalypse- and it’s been bothering me these past weeks- because I knew something was wrong and now I- now I </span> <span class="s2"><em>know</em></span> <span class="s1"> Vanya- it’s me. </span> <span class="s2"><em>It’s me. </em></span><span class="s1">I don’t </span> <span class="s2">belong</span> <span class="s1"> here anymore. I’m just a remnant of a timeline that never fucking happened, an obsolete horror for a bygone agency, the relic of an era that is long over. I’m not </span> <span class="s2">needed</span> <span class="s1"> to be a monster anymore, and I was <em>so fucking focused</em> on saving you all that I lost the ability to be anything but. I am </span> <span class="s2"><em>broken</em>, </span><span class="s1">Vanya and a danger to you all."</span></p><p class="p2">Five finished, panting, eyes wild, hands trembling in the cold night air as he confessed his sins to his sister under the stars.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya swallowed carefully and then turned, pulling a tissue out of her pocket. Five watched with confusion, trying to regulate his breathing. She looked around before seeming to find what she looking for and lightly soaking it in a clear pool of rainwater, not yet tainted by leaves and dirt. She turned back and then leaned forward, dabbing at his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five flinched back, "Vanya, what-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiled softly, "You have blood on your face."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five's eyes immediately flicked away, guilt sharp and obvious. He let her continue to clean his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya sighed, hands gentle as she began to wipe away the blood, "You say you’re dangerous, and I’d counter that by saying that we're all dangerous. Except that I do think you could actually take us all in a fight. I think, even with our powers, that you would win. So you do have a point there."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five wasn’t sure what to say. He was glad she was agreeing with him, but he could feel her gearing up to say something else, "But I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’ve been through some serious shit," she laughed, "I think a lot of the times you’re an asshole, but I don’t think you’re a monster."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Five opened his mouth and Vanya scrubbed harder, making him stop and wince, "I ended the world twice. I </span> <span class="s2">killed</span> <span class="s1"> poor Pogo in cold blood. Say it was what you will, a psychotic breakdown, me finally snapping after Dad's terrible parenting methods... but I still murdered him. And then, I ended the world because I couldn’t handle having a shitty family."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five rolled his eyes, "There was more to it than that."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya nodded, "Sure. But, it was a pretty big meltdown. Every one of us was treated terribly by dad. I was no different. We <em>all</em> needed to handle ourselves better." She pulled back the tissue, nodding and putting it away, satisfied that she’d cleaned him up, "You were working towards a single goal for forty-five years, Five. I’d be worried if you weren’t feeling lost without a cause."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five squinted as Vanya sat back, "But you belong here with us, Five. We're all broken. We're all dangers to society, if the several apocalypses weren’t clear enough. More importantly, we're here for you. You may have forgotten how not to be a killer, but we are here to help you, Five."<br/></span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">She seemed intent now, "You </span> <span class="s2"><em>do</em></span> <span class="s1"> belong with us. I mean we're all huge messes. Diego lived in a boiler room and then ended up in an actual mental asylum. Allison rumored herself into being a movie star. Luther didn’t leave the house until he was </span> <span class="s2">thirty</span> <span class="s1"> and then when he did, he ended up working for a mobster. Ben was dead until a month ago. Klaus has OD'd so many times, he's probably on a first name basis with God. Hell, I started the fucking apocalypse where my favorite brother ended up trapped in for forty-five years. We're </span> <span class="s2">all</span> <span class="s1"> learning how to live again. We're all </span> <span class="s2"><em>helping</em></span> <span class="s1"> each other learn how to live again."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five shook his head, "I hurt you-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya stopped him, "If you biting Diego's wrist was enough to get you kicked out of the family, it would’ve happened a long time ago, Five. Hell, Klaus would’ve been kicked out ages ago. And, I mean, who hasn’t wanted to kill Luther sometimes?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five snorted before he could stop himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Vanya smiled at that, "My point is... My point is, yes. I’m not going to deny it. You’ve done terrible things. You’re dangerous. You </span><span class="s2">have</span><span class="s1"> forgotten how to be human. But you’re still my brother, you still belong with us, and I don’t care what horrible things you’ve done or might do. </span><span class="s2">You’re</span> <span class="s2">worth every one of them</span><span class="s1">." She brushed a strand of her away from his face, "And I think all of that fallibility, all that <em>hurt</em>, all that <em>love</em>- that makes you more human than all of us." </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five swallowed, throat feeling impossibly thick.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Vanya sighed and pulled him close in a hug as he resisted on principle, "Klaus said it really well once, I think. You may be an asshole, but you’re </span> <span class="s2"><em>our</em></span> <span class="s1"> asshole." </span></p><p class="p2">Five choked on a wet laugh and he could feel Vanya's smile. He hesitantly wound his arms around her and hugged her so hard he could hardly breathe.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya added quietly, "Diego is fine, you know. Mom patched him up. And I think Luther is organizing a search party for you right now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five snorted, "Like Luther could find his ass with his own two hands."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Vanya laughed as the stars shone brightly overhead.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t think he was okay, he didn’t think he was cured. But he did think that maybe, just maybe, they’d taken a step in the right direction.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the roof of his home, next to Vanya under the stars, Five wasn’t cold anymore. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>